Your kitchen doubles as a bait store.
Your last keg party included a couple of 911 calls.
Your lawn furniture used to be your living room furniture.
Your lawn furniture was in your house last summer.
Your lawn mower gets better millage than your car.
Your lawn mower has more horsepower than your wife's car, but no blade.
Your lawn mower is a goat.
Your lawn tractor has a better paint job than your car.
Your life savings is buried in your back yard.
Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
Your lips move while reading a stop sign.
Your living room furniture doubles as your camping gear.
Your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.
Your local funeral home has a drive-thru.
Your local grocery store also has a few pool tables.
Your local newspaper has a front-page feature called "Cow of the Week."
Your local yellow pages have only 3 sections: places to get cigarettes, place to get liquor, and places to get bait.
Your mailbox holds up one end of your clothesline.
Your mailbox is made out of old auto parts.
Your mailing address includes the word "holler."
Your mama can back down a biker.
Your Mama has failed the 3rd. grade five times.
Your mama has more gadgets and accessories on her pickup truck than you do.
Your mama has more tattoos than you do.
Your mama keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.
Your mama saves aluminum foil.
Your mama spends more money fixing up her old trailer house than it cost to build a new brick home.
Your Mama yells, "Close the screen door boy, you're letting all the bugs out!"
Your masseuse uses lard.
Your master bathroom has the words "porta" and "potty" written on the side.
Your mechanic looks under the front of your car or truck and asks you work for the Roadkill Cafe.
Your mom french kisses better than your sister.
Your mom gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.
Your mom is lighting bottle rockets with her cigarette while walking the children on Halloween.
Your mom is your sister, aunt and your dad's mother.
Your mom kisses you goodnight and you go to school the next day and say you've met your future wife.
Your mom's maiden name is Bubba.
Your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire... on her house
Your momma doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her butt.
Your momma doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass.
Your momma gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.
Your momma has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
Your momma has ever been involved in a cuss fight with the principal.
Your momma has ever stomped into the house and announced, "The feud is back on!"
Your Momma knows how to make Roadkill stew.
Your momma makes two turkeys for Thanksgiving, one for the family and the other for the dogs.
Read all jokes from:Lists (+730), Redneck (+1460)
