You go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.
You go to a wedding or any formal party and ask someone to pull your finger.
You go to church and the preacher says "I like for Bubba to help me with the offering", and 5 different boys stand up.
You go to garage sales to shop for Christmas gifts.
You go to strip joints for family reunions.
You go to the bank for a loan and the loan officer asks to see the stock you have listed as collateral, so you bring in the three hogs you bought last month at the auction.
You go to the dentist for a "Tooth Cleaning".
You go to the family reunion to meet women.
You go to the family reunion to pickup women.
You go to the post office to research your family tree.
You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
You go to Wal-Mart to people watch.
You go to your family reunion looking for a date.
You go to your local pet shop for a cat scan.
You go to your sister's wedding so you can kiss the bride
You go up a water tower with a can of paint to protect your sister.
You got Clapper devices controlling the appliances in your house.
You got married in the family car, in a drive-thru chapel.
You got more antennas on your truck than the local TV station.
You got stopped by a state trooper; he asked you had an I.D. And you said, "Bout What?'
You got your pickup truck from a lake.
You got your tater gun hangin' over your couch in your living room as a conversation piece.
You grandmother spits farther than you.
You grow flowers in an old commode in your front yard.
You grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.
You had a receding hairline in the 6th grade.
You had to buy an 18-Wheeler for family vacations.
You had to call the police department to get your flare gun back.
You had to hitchhike on your honeymoon.
You had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures.
You had your own parking space in Jr High.
You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.
You hang pickled eggs and pop-tops from your Christmas tree.
You haul more than U-Haul.
You have 10 cars in your front yard and only once of them isn't on blocks and the engine works.
You have 20 cars that don't work and a mobile home
You have 5 cars that are immobile and a house that is!
You have 500 men working under you and you cut grass at the cemetery.
You have a "church" cap.
You have a beer cooler on your riding lawn mower.
You have a black eye and a hickey at the same time.
Read all jokes from:Lists (+730), Redneck (+1459)
