Farting is never an issue/You make sure there's nothing flammable near your husband...... at all times.
He takes you out to have a good time/He brings home a 6 pack and says, "What are you going to drink?"
He holds your hand in public/He flicks your ear in public.
A Single bed for 2 isn't THAT bad/A King size bed feels like an Army cot.
You are turned on at the sight of him naked/You think to yourself.... "Was he ALWAYS this hairy????"
You enjoyed foreplay/You tell him "If we have sex, will you leave me alone???"
He hugs you, when he walks by you for no reason/He grabs your boob any chance he gets.
You picture the two of you together, growing old/You wonder who will die first.
Just looking at him makes you feel all "mushy"/When you look at him, you want to claw his eyes out.
He knows what the "hamper" is/The floor will suffice as a dirty clothes storage area.
He understands if you "aren't in the mood"/He says, "It's your job."
He understands that you have "male" friends/He thinks they are all out to steal you away.
He likes to "discuss" things/He develops a "blank" stare.
He calls you by name/He calls you "Hey" and refers to you when speaking to others as "She."
Read all jokes from:Men vs. Women (+5690)
