Dear Sir,
We have a proposition to make. A recent survey - 'What makes the perfect Rabbi?' showed that: -
* the perfect Rabbi's sermons last exactly fifteen minutes
* the perfect Rabbi condemns sin but at same time never upsets anyone
* the perfect Rabbi works from 8am until midnight and is also synagogue handyman
* the perfect Rabbi makes $250pw, wears good clothes, buys good books, drives a good car and gives about $250pw to the poor and needy
* the perfect Rabbi has a burning desire to work with teenagers and spends all of his time with senior citizens
* the perfect Rabbi smiles all the time but with a straight face because he has a sense of humour that keeps him seriously dedicated to his work
* the perfect Rabbi makes 15 calls daily to congregation families and the hospitalised, and is always in his office when needed.
If your Rabbi does not measure up to the above, simply send this letter to 6 other synagogues that are also tired of their Rabbi. Then bundle up your Rabbi and send him to the synagogue on the top of your list. In one week, you will receive 1,643 Rabbis and one of them will be perfect. Have faith in this procedure. One congregation broke the chain and got its old Rabbi back in less than three weeks.
Yours faithfully
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