My Rabbi came over yesterday and we had a Bris for my computer - he cut a little piece off the tail of my mouse. He also told me that I should buy a kosher computer, called a KPC. If I did, he said I would need to know the differences.
1 The KPC comes with 2 hard drives, one for flayshedig business software and one for milchedig computer games
2 Internet Explorer comes with a spinning Star of David in the upper right corner
3 Microsoft Office includes, "a little byte of this and a little byte of that."
4 Hava Nagila plays during the KPC boot up
5 The Chanukah screen saver shows Flying Dreidels
6 The KPC automatically shuts down at sundown every Friday
7 The KPC start button is labelled, "Let's go already, I'm not getting any younger."
8 When disconnecting external devices from the back of the KPC, the screen message says, "Please remove cable from the tuchus."
9 KPC scandisk opens with the prompt, "You vant I should fix this?"
10 When the KPC processor is working hard, it broadcasts a loud, 'Oy Gevalt.'
11 After 30 minutes of inactivity, the KPC goes shloffen.
12 KPC email always opens with "You don't write and you never call."
13 The KPC options button is labelled, "But on the other hand."
14 When delete is chosen, the KPC Dialogue Box says, "Listen, you never know - you might need this someday. So do you really want to cancel?"
15 The KPC comes with a monitor cleaning solution from Manischewitz to get rid of shmutz from the monitor.
16 Computer viruses on the KPC are quickly cured with chicken soup.
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