Hymie and Bernie, both in their 90s, live in a retirement home in Edgware. One Friday, Hymie gets up very early, extracts the Jewish Chronicle newspaper from under his door, and goes down to the lounge to read it. He opens the paper, turns to the obituaries page and gets the shock of his life. There, on page 43, is his own obituary! Even though he quickly realises that it's an error, it both excites him and upsets him. He has to tell someone, so he goes to reception and uses the internal phone to call Bernie's room.
After the phone has been ringing for nearly a minute, Bernie finally picks it up and says, sleepily, "Which meshuggeneh is ringing me so early, already?"
"Bernie, are you up yet?" shouts Hymie, excitedly.
"Well I am now, aren't I?" replies Bernie.
"Bernie," shouts Hymie, "go pick up your Jewish Chronicle and turn to page 43."
"Why, what's so important in the paper that I should do this?" asks Bernie.
"Bernie, don't argue with me. Go get the paper and turn to page 43 and do it now," shouts Hymie.
"OK, Ive got the paper already," says Bernie, "so what am I looking for?"
"Bernie, turn to page 43 and look at the bottom of column 4," shouts Hymie.
"Alright, already," says Bernie, "Ill start reading the column if you stop yelling at me."
"OK," says Hymie, "but read it now."
The paper rustles for a few seconds, then, following a long silence, Bernie gets back on the phone and quietly asks, "Hymie, so where are you calling me from right now?"
Read all jokes from:Jewish (+6996)
