A woman plays bridge every Tuesday night. After a peaceful game or two with the ladies, she returns home to fix dinner for her husband, who usually arrives late from work.
One Tuesday, she's playing a great game and she has an incredible hand when she notices the time. "Oh, no! I have to go fix my husband his dinner! He's going to be so angry if it's not ready on time."
She dashes out of her friend's house, her great hand left on the table. When she gets home, she realizes she has very little time, nothing in the fridge but a wilted lettuce leaf, an egg and a partially used can of cat food. In a panic, she dumps the cat food on a plate, stirs in the egg, and garnishes it with the lettuce leaf, just as her husband is pulling up.
She watches in panic as he sits down to his dinner, and then she realizes he is loving it!
"Mmmm, darling, this is the best dinner you have made for me in forty years of marriage. You can make this for me any old day, yum!" And that night, they had sex for the first time in months and it was great!
Needless to say, every Tuesday from then on, and even some of the other nights, she made this dinner for her husband. She told her bridge cronies about it and they were all horrified.
"You're going to kill him," they'd all say.
Two months later, her husband died.
Tuesday after the funeral, her bridge friends attacked the new widow for being so callous. "You killed him! We told you that feeding him that cat food every week would do him in! How can you just sit there so calmly and play bridge knowing you murdered your husband?"
The wife stoically replied, "Ahh, I didn't kill him. He fell off the mantle while he was licking his rear."
Read all jokes from:Men vs. Women (+5687)
