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Sunday, July 31, 2011

Diversification

Issy and Shlomo have been running a Jewish goods shop in Kilburn, London for over 40 years but the neighbourhood was not what it was and the Jewish community was moving out.
One day, Shlomo says, "Issy, our customers are moving out. Ve haff to move to where they are going - to Golders Green or Hendon, if ve vant to survive."
"Ve can't do this," replies Issy, "dis neighbourhood iz our life. Ve've been here for foity-tree years. However, instead of moving, ve should tink about sellink Katolik articles as vell as Jewish vuns."
"Vut? Katolik tings?" says Shlomo, "Dat's a meshuggeneh idea. Ve Jews can't sell anytink Katolik."
But in the following week they only manage to sell one mezuzah and a Barmitzvah tallit and by Friday Shlomo comes round to Issy's way of thinking - they will have to stock some Catholic articles. "OK Issy," he says, "You vin. Call de Katolik supplier in Cricklevood right now." So Issy rings them.
"Hello, is dis de Katolik Supply House?"
"Yes it is. How can we be of help, sir?"
"Dis is Issy of Issys and Shlomos in Kilburn. Ve vant 200 daily missals, 100 pictures of the Pope, all autographed please, and 200 of dem beads, vot dey called?"
"Rosaries, sir. Will there be anything else?"
"Yes, ve also vant some crosses, a gross will do for starters, and ve vant you to deliver all of dese things to us tomorrow morning."
"OK sir," comes the reply, "Let me read the list back to you to check that I've got your order right. You require a delivery tomorrow morning of 200 daily missals, 100 pictures of the Pope, each one to be personally signed by his holiness, 200 sets of Rosaries and 144 crucifixes. But about dese crucifixes – do you vant dem mit or mitout de Jesuses? Ve can do either. But tomorrow ve don't deliver. It's shabbos."

Read all jokes from:Jewish (+6999)


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