You have used a velvetleaf plant as toilet paper.
You have your family reunion at the Talladega 500.
You have your TV on top of empty beer cans and call it recycling.
You hear a siren and your first instinct is to hide.
You hear somone mention the depression and you think they are talking about when Bubba's Market ran out of Skoal.
You heard that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so you moved.
You help booby trap your family's marijuana crop.
You hit a bump in the road and lose half of your worldly possessions.
You honestly think that women are turned on by animal noises and seductive tongue gestures.
You hooked up with your present girlfriend as a result of a message on the wall of the mens' room at the Flying J Truck Stop.
You hunt deer from a moving vehicle.
You idea of talking during sex is "Ain't no cars coming, baby!"
You inherited a Styrofoam cooler.
You itch your butt in front of your wife.
You join the army for the free uniform.
You judge drive time solely by the number of beers you need to take.
You just bought an 8-track player to put in your truck.
You just bought your family their lst Atari game system.
You just hate getting strip searched by the guard every time you go visit your cousin Bubba.
You keep a can of RAID on the kitchen table.
You keep a chainsaw in the trunk "just in case".
You keep a pellet gun by the front door.
You keep a spit cup on the ironing board.
You keep all your guns in a fireproof locked safe and everything else out in the open.
You keep catfish in your aquarium.
You keep empty beer cans in your fridge for your friends that don't drink.
You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
You keep track of all the belt holders in all the wrestling leagues.
You keep your fingernails long to open you snuff can.
You keep your teeth and your goldfish in the same glass.
You kissed your own wife at midnight at the New Year's Eve party.
You know all the verses to the "Hee Haw" song.
You know at least 6 ways to bend a baseball cap.
You know exactly how long it takes for pizza to get fuzzy in the fridge.
You know exactly how many cans of spray paint it takes to paint a 1976 full size Chevy truck.
You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
Read all jokes from:Lists (+730), Redneck (+1460)
