"Old" is when:
* Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes – but you're barefoot.
* Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
* You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
* You are cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.
* "Getting a little action," means you don't need to take any fibre today.
* "Getting lucky," means you find your car in the Brent Cross car park.
* Your wife says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you reply, "Darling, I can't do both."
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