Monday, August 30, 2010

Be politically correct

How to be Politically Correct when talking about Men (Or Army Men)


He does not have a beer gut...
He has developed a Liquid Grain Storage Facility.(regular guys)
He has a personal war reserve stock.(army guys)


He is not quiet...
He is a Conversational Minimalist.
He is a SAMS grad.


He is not stupid...
He suffers from Minimal Cranial Development.
He is a field grade.


He does not get lost all the time...
He discovers Alternative Destinations.
He gets temporarily misoriented.


He is not balding...
He is in Follicle Regression.
He has a REALLY squared away high and tight.


He is not a cradle robber...
He prefers Generationally Differential Relationships.
He is breaking the new fraternization policies.


He does not get falling-down drunk...
He becomes Accidentally Horizontal.
He practices his IMTs in the club.


He is not short...
He is Anatomically Compact.
He suffers from a Napoleon Complex.


He does not have a rich daddy...
He is a Recipient of Parental Asset Infusion.
He has the Army as a hobby.


He does not constantly talk about cars...
He has a Vehicular Addiction.
He must be a Transporter.


He does not have a hot body...
He is Physically Combustible.
He is a PT stud.


He is not unsophisticated...
He is Socially Challenged.
He is a Ranger.


He does not eat like a pig...
He suffers from Reverse Bulimia.
He eats like a Ranger student at Pizza Hut.


He is not a bad dancer...
He is Overly Caucasian.
He is from the Muddy Boots Army.


He does not hog the blankets...
He is Thermally Unappreciative.
He is a Blue Falcon.


He is not a male chauvinist pig...
He has Swine Empathy.
He must be combat arms.


He is not afraid of commitment...
He is Monogamously Challenged.
He loves TDY.

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