Hyman is 25 and leads the most over-examined life you can imagine. Each day, he spends his time thinking about those he met that day, worrying about everything said to him, wondering about every look, gesture and expression made, and hoping he came across OK. Even when he goes to bed, he has to write at least two pages in his diary about his conclusions and how he will improve his actions the following day to make people like him more.
One day, Hyman goes to Max, one of his few friends, in a very agitated state. "What's wrong?" asks Max.
"Well," replied Hyman, "my father and I never had much of a relationship whilst I was growing up. He's always ignored me and he's never encouraged me to succeed. I've been trying to get him to talk to me for some time now, but without success. Then last night, out of the blue, he rings me and invites me out to dinner. I was gob smacked. I tried to work out - why now, why dinner, why... ."
"But did you go?" said Max.
"Yes, but during dinner, I said the wrong thing. It was just a slip of the tongue really and I didn't mean it the way it sounded."
"Well, so what did you say?" asked Max.
Hyman replies, "I meant to say, 'please pass the salt', but it came out as, 'you miserable old sod, you've ruined my life'."
Read all jokes from:Jewish (+6997)
