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Thursday, December 22, 2011

I'm not Jewish

Moshe, a chassid, is talking to his friend Victor. "As you know, Victor, my daughter Rifka is getting married soon and because you're not only my friend, but have also been my study partner for nearly nine years, I would like to ask you to act as a witness under her chuppah. What do you say?"
"Im sorry, Moshe," replies Victor looking sad, "I know it's an honour but I can't accept. Im not Jewish."
"What do you mean you're not Jewish?" says Moshe. "Youve been coming to shakarit every morning for over ten years and youve been my chavruta for nearly as long. I don't understand."
"Well," replies Victor, "It's like this. I decided many years ago to convert to Judaism. Over the years that followed, I enjoyed not only the company but also the intellectual stimulation it provided. And I found respite in the shabbes. But somehow or other, Moshe, I just never completed the process I started. So Im not Jewish. I'm so sorry."
"But hold on a minute, Victor," says Moshe. "Didnt we both learn in the gemara, only a few weeks ago, that if youre not Jewish, you cant keep the shabbes?"
"Yes, I remember. But dont worry, I always put my key in my pocket on Fridays so that I could carry it all shabbat."
"But our community has an eruv, Victor, you can carry a key without any problem."
"Yes, I know," responds Victor, "but I dont hold by it."

chassid: a member of an orthodox religious sect
chuppah: a wedding canopy
shakarit: morning prayers
gemara: similar to Talmud - a basic body of Jewish law / tradition
eruv: defines the boundaries of an area within which observant Jews can treat "public" spaces, shared by all the community, in the same way as "private" space at home. In practice, it means that observant Jews can carry out some normal tasks away from home during the Sabbath, such as the carrying of personal items like keys or even the pushing of a wheelchair or a pram.
chavruta: (one-to-one) learning is about discussing texts with a study partner of similar ability, embarking on an educational journey together.

Read all jokes from:Jewish (+6995)


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