The habit of asking God to prevent calamities is a hard one to break. One Jewish businessman, driven to despair by his rival's devious actions, shouted at him, "You should only drop dead - God forbid."
(#1247) The whole divorce
[My thanks to Ian for the following]
Rivkah is in court finalising her divorce. As soon as she signs the final paper and realises her divorce is complete, she says out loud, "At last, now all I have to do is arrange for a Get."
The judge hears her and asks, "Mrs Gold, what do you mean by 'Get'?"
Rivkah replies, "Well your Honor, a Get is a religious ceremony that's required under the Jewish religion in order to receive a divorce."
"You mean like a Brit Milah?" asks the judge.
"Yes," Rivkah relies, "it's very similar. But in a Get, you get rid of the whole schmuck."
Read all jokes from:Jewish (+6999)
