* You've got enough Prozac in your purse to tranquilize King Kong.
* You really lose it whenever someone says, "Good morning."
* You spend more time in bed than a hooker at a Shriners convention.
* You keep your house so dark that mushrooms are growing in the carpet.
* Given a choice, you'd have no preference between sex or a root canal.
* On a really bad day, you wouldn't come to the door if it was Publishers Clearing House.
* You list Dr. Kevorkian as a character reference.
* Alcohol gives you strength and food settles your nerves.
* Your hands shake so badly that you can brush your teeth without any voluntary movement.
* You've cried so much that your contacts have rusted to your eyeballs.
Read all jokes from:Medical (+1844)
