Jewish haikus
* After the warm rain, the sweet smell of camellias: Did you wipe your feet?
* Her lips near my ear, bubbeh whispers the name of her friends disease.
* Looking for pink buds to prune, the old mohel wanders among his flowers.
* Scrabble discord: Someone has placed 'putzhead' on a triple word score.
* Testing the warm milk on her wrist, she sighs softly. But her son is forty.
* Tea ceremony: fragrant steam perfumes the air. Try the cheese Danish.
* Lacking fins or tail, the gefilte fish swims with great difficulty.
* My nature journal: Today I saw some trees and birds. I should know the names?
* Like a bonsai tree, your terrible posture at my dinner table.
* The same kimono the top geishas are wearing, got it at John Lewis.
* The sparrow brings too many worms for her young. "Force yourself," she chirps.
* Jewish triathlon: gin rummy, then contract bridge, followed by a nap.
* Umbilical cord: "Cant you just leave it?" the new Jewish mother asks.
* The shivah visit: So sorry about your loss. Now back to my problems.
* Our youngest daughter, our most precious jewel. Hence the name, Tiffany.
* Concert of car horns as we debate the question of when to change lanes.
* Sorry Im not home to take your call. At the tone please state your bad news.
* Is one Nobel Prize so much to ask from a child after all Ive done?
* Today, mild shvitzing. Tomorrow, so hot youll plotz. Five-day forecast: feh.
* Left the door open for the Prophet Elijah. Now our cat is gone.
* Yenta. Shmeer. Gevalt. Shlemiel. Shlimazl. Tochis. Oy! To be fluent!
* A lovely nose ring - excuse me while I put my head in the oven.
* Hard to tell under the lights - white Yarmulke or male-pattern baldness?
Read all jokes from:Jewish (+6999)
