* Never buy a 'new' brand of beer because 'it was on sale.'
* If we're in the backyard and the TV in the den is on, that doesn't mean we're not watching it.
* Don't tell anyone we can't afford a new car. Tell them we don't want one.
* Whenever possible please try to say whatever you have to say during commercials.
* Only wearing your new lingerie once does not send the message that you need more. It tells us lingerie is a bad investment.
* Please don't drive when you're not driving.
* Don't feel compelled to tell us how all the people in your stories are related to one another: We're just nodding, waiting for the punchline.
* The quarterback who just got pummeled isn't trying to be brave. He's just not crying. Big difference!
* When the waiter asks if everything's okay, a simple 'Yes' is fine.
* What do you mean, 'leering?' She's obstructing my view.
* When I'm turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the off-ramp, saying 'Oh, this is our exit, Honey' is not really necessary.
* When you're not around, I belch so loudly that I even appall myself.
* The temperature in the cave will be my responsibility. It will be slightly to moderately cooler than you want it.
* SportsCenter starts at 10:00 P.M. and runs one hour. This is an excellent time for you to pay bills, put laundry in the dryer, or talk to your sister.
* Is it too much to ask to have the bra match the underwear?
* If we see you in the morning and at night, why call us at work?
* You probably don't want to know what we're thinking about.
* It's in neither your interest nor ours to take the Cosmo quiz together!
Read all jokes from:Men vs. Women (+5688)
