Negative views on marriage
Bernie says marriage is not a word, it's a sentence,
a life sentence.
Sadie says marriage is a three-ring circus,
engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.
Bernie and Sadie say that married life is full of excitement and frustration,
* In the first year of marriage the man speaks and the woman listens
* In the second year the woman speaks and the man listens
* In the third year they both speak and the neighbours listen.
Sadie says that getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends,
you order what you want but when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that instead.
Bernie says a happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking,
the husband gives and the wife takes.
Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.
Son: Is it true in ancient China a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Father: That's true everywhere, son.
Sadie says love is one long sweet dream,
and marriage is the alarm clock.
Bernie says that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it's love,
but after marriage, it's self-defence.
Bernie told Sadie during their courtship that he would go through hell for her,
they got married and now he IS going through hell.
Confucius, he say,
"man who sinks into woman's arms soon have arms in woman's sink."
Bernie says, "when a man steals your wife,
there is no better revenge than to let him keep her."
Bernie and Sadie say that after marriage, a husband and wife become two sides of a coin,
they can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Bernie and Sadie say marriage is when man and a woman become one,
the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
Bernie says before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves,
after the marriage the "Y" becomes silent.
Bernie says it's not true that married men live longer than single men,
it only seems longer.
Bernie says man is incomplete until he gets married,
then he is finished.
Sadie says it doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job,
he still ends up with the same boss.
Bernie inserted an ad in the paper - WIFE WANTED.
The next day he received a hundred letters and they all said the same thing - YOU CAN HAVE MINE.
Sadie says when a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing,
either the car is new or the wife is.
Read all jokes from:Jewish (+6994)
