* Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
* You know stuff about tanks.
* A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
* You can open all your own jars.
* Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind.
* You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
* You can leave the motel bed unmade.
* You can kill your own food.
* You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
* Wedding plans take care of themselves.
* If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
* Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
* If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
* Everything on your face stays its original color.
* You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
* Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
* You don't have to clean if the meter reader is coming.
* Car mechanics tell you the truth.
* You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me."
* Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.
* Wedding dress - $2,000. Tuxedo rental - 75 bucks.
* You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
* If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
* Your pals will never trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
* You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
* You know which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
* You almost never have strap problems in public.
* You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
* The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
* You don't have to shave below your neck.
* Gas (at either end) is cool.
* Your belly usually hides your big hips.
* One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
Read all jokes from:Men (+300)
