"Do you recall the time that you examined the body?"
"The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m."
"And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?"
"No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy."
* * *
"Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?"
* * *
"Did he kill you?"
* * *
"Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
"All my autopsies are performed on dead people."
* * *
"You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
* * *
"How many times have you committed suicide?"
* * *
"How was your first marriage terminated?"
"By death."
"And by whose death was it terminated?"
* * *
"Can you describe the individual?"
"He was about medium height and had a beard."
"Was this a male, or a female?"
* * *
"Were you present when your picture was taken?"
* * *
"How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"
* * *
"Are you married? "
"No, I'm divorced."
"And what did your husband do before you divorced him?"
"A lot of things I didn't know about."
* * *
"Mrs. Jones, is your appearance this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?"
"No. This is how I dress when I go to work."
* * *
"Now, you have investigated other murders, have you not, where there was a victim?"
* * *
"Doctor did you say he was shot in the woods?"
"No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region."
* * *
"Could you see him from where you were standing? "
"I could see his head."
"And where was his head?"
"Just above his shoulders."
* * *
"...any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?"
"The victim lived."
* * *
"What happened then?"
"He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me."
"Did he kill you?"
"No."
* * *
"Can you describe the individual?"
"He was about medium height and had a beard."
"Was this a male, or a female?"
* * *
"Are you sexually active?"
"No, I just lie there."
* * *
"Are you qualified to give a urine sample?"
"Yes, I have been since early childhood."
Read all jokes from:Law (+1200)
