I'm sure you've heard the old story referring to optimism and pessimism that is determined by whther you think the glass is half - empty or half - full. Here are the reactions when somebody leaves a half glass of milk next to the keyboard.
Optimist: The glass is half full.
Pessimist: The glass is half empty.
Apple Computer: You guys really oughta be drinking Perrier.
Assembly programmers: No thanks; I drink straight from the cow.
Basic programmers: No thanks; I'm still breast feeding.
Bill Gates: Not enough market share to be Microsoft Milk.
C Programmers: No thanks; I drink straight from the jug.
CIA: What makes you think that's milk?
National news media: Hey, we wanted OJ!
Non - procedural language programmers: I drank it when nobody was looking.
NSA: We know what it really is.
Paranoid: Here is a glass just sitting here. Why? Who put it here? WHY WHY WHY!!! SOMEONE IS TRYING TO KILL ME!!!!!
Pascal programmers: Well, what type of milk is it?
Pentium users: I drank Glass * .49999999... but don't hold me to that.
Prolog programmers: I know I drank it - just don't ask me how.
Copy protection crazies: Somebody drank half my milk and didn't pay for it!
Faith - healer: If we worship it, it will feel better.
Feminist: How come HIS glass is bigger than MINE?
Free Software Foundation: That milk is the cow's contribution to all mankind!
Futurist: The milk's in the wrong half of the glass.
Fuzzy logic guys: I may or may not have drunk some part of that milk.
IBM: Rent the glass from us and we'll fill it with something we know is good for you.
Idealist: In a decent world, this glass would be filled to the brim and big enough for everyone to enjoy.
IRS: Thanks for getting your milk witholding correct this year.
Mac users: Where's my pump?
MIS: I'LL DRINK IT IF YOU CAN GIVE ME UNTIL NEXT YEAR.
Schroedinger: That stupid cat got into the milk again!
Security consultant: Where'd the rest of the milk go?
Shareware game author: That glass is free; the next one you have to pay for.
UI designers: What's that crap in my glass?
UNIX users: Nahh... too easy.
Windows users: Where's my straw?
Read all jokes from:Lists (+730), Technology (+1819)
